It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect!

I admit that I was a bit of a perfectionist in the past and I still fight that urge. I was raised with the mantras, “anything worth doing is worth doing right” and “always do your best”. So those little nuggets of wisdom have buried themselves deep within my soul and will be there forever.

As a newlywed, I made sure that our dinners had a pleasing presentation and that they contained all of the basic food groups. A sprig of parsley often sat on top of a pork chop for color, or a fan of thinly sliced oranges filled in an empty space next to the mashed potatoes.

When I was a young mother, I could not go to bed unless every last Lego piece was accounted for and I successfully had found Barbie’s missing shoe.

But the pieces to my life puzzle became hopelessly scrambled when I was widowed in 1993. I knew that there would forever be a part missing, but I wasn’t sure what the new order was to be. Nothing would be “perfect” again I suspected. I was scared, insecure, and even paranoid that everyone was watching me. I was sure that I was constantly under the social microscope and that people were talking about my tragedy behind my back. I felt broken.

Well, as the years have passed, I have gained more wisdom and I have been able to let go of my need for control and that urge for perfection. Instead, I have trained myself to listen for my “whispers”. I have learned that everyone is facing some sort of daily challenge. That is what makes for a full life. Other’s tribulations may not be on the same scale as mine, but everything is relative and they are not for me to judge.

I now can appreciate and accept that the basic force of my human life is not totally in my own hands. I can orchestrate some of my choices and daily details, but overall, it is controlled by a greater power. And I need to trust in that. Trust brings me peace and relief.

So, if you are facing a particularly low energy day ,which we all have, or are experiencing a recent loss that is sapping your energy, try and liberate yourself for a moment and drop the demands of perfection. Leave the dishes in the sink…they aren’t going anywhere. Forego the vacuuming…there will be more dirt to suck up tomorrow. Slap on some lipstick, even if you have not washed your face yet. It is amazing how a bright color lightens up an otherwise tired appearance. And most of all, if you can, go outside, look up into the wide-open universe, feel the vibrant energy of your life, and give over some control to your inner voice.

Tomorrow the sun will come up and we will all be given a brand new day. And that one doesn’t have to be perfect either. Work on what makes you happy and healthy and the rest just may fall into place.

I wish you lighter days ahead. And as always, feel free to share your success with me.

Kim